


Silence Held Like Glass

by leinthalexandra



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Gen, Michael!Dean, Swan Song redeux, Temporary Character Deaths, season 5
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-29
Updated: 2011-12-29
Packaged: 2017-10-28 11:04:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,745
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/307218
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/leinthalexandra/pseuds/leinthalexandra
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean said yes. Castiel went after him. Sam waits in the silence.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Silence Held Like Glass

**Author's Note:**

  * For [saltfree (ghostlights)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ghostlights/gifts).



> birthday fic for Kelsey :)

Sam sat in the middle of Stull Cemetery, unmoving, for a long time. He didn't even look at his watch, couldn't bring himself to do so; if he knew the time then he would know how long they'd been gone. The rational side of his brain knew that if anyone could return from Hell, it would be his brother and the angel who'd become like family to them over the last year. They'd done it once, after all; they could do it again.

It was a matter of trying to hold onto those thoughts, not letting them slip from his grasp in the aftermath of the Apocalypse.

Silence held like glass in the stillness around him.

-

 _He could still see his brother--no, it wasn't Dean, it was Michael, more terrifying in his brother's skin than when they'd met him before. Michael gave a small smile. It looked wrong on Dean's face._

 _"Hello, Sam," he said. Sam let out a breath of relief. It sounded nothing like Dean, made it easier to separate the two of them in his mind. "It's good to see you again. Though I am curious as to why you're here. Well, unless you've come to your senses," --he chuckled slightly-- "and decided to say yes..."_

 _Sam shook his head. "I told him I'd never say yes. And you can tell me that it's my destiny, and you can try to tell me that I'm evil or whatever, but I'm still here, and I'm still saying no."_

 _"Well," Michael said, "I suppose I'll spare you the talk then." And his smile was still so wrong, because Sam couldn't see Dean at all._

-

Dusk spread slowly over the gravestones, a little warmth still lingering from the dying light of the sun. His hands were freezing cold. Sam continued to stare at the ground where his brother--brothers, he corrected himself--had disappeared into the Cage.

Hours had passed. He had barely moved, only enough to adjust when he became uncomfortable. His muscles ached nonetheless; but he wouldn't leave. Couldn't. Had to wait, stay and see this through to to the end. Made a promise to my brother, to all of them.

He'd wait until they came back.

-

 _"Dean, you...you don't have to do this," Sam pleaded. "I'll do it, I'll say yes, I--"_

 _"No!" His brother's eyes were hard, determined. Sam knew it was useless to argue with Dean when he got like this, but it wasn't going to stop Sam from trying. "No. This is--it's something I gotta do, for me. For my own damn peace of mind, all right?"_

 _Sam frowned, running a hand through his hair. He didn't speak for a long moment. "I...All right. I mean...I don't like it, but--"_

 _"You don't have to like it, Sam," Dean told him. "You just have to let me do this." He grabbed Sam by the shoulders, holding on like his brother was one of the last anchors he had left on earth. "You know that I don't like talking about my feelings or any of that shit, so you better listen real close right now. After what happened with Cas, and then what Zachariah tried to do to Adam? I started thinking." Dean hesitated, releasing Sam suddenly._

 _"I realized if I can fight him, if I can throw him off long enough, I can take those sorry bastards down with me. It--it ain't gonna be like last time, okay?" he said quickly, seeing the look of despair cross Sam's face. "I don't want you to look for me. I don't want you to try and pull me out, or get revenge, or anything fucking stupid like that, you got it? Just...don't. Because."_

 _"I promise," Sam said, and he took a deep breath._

 _Dean grinned, a ghost of his old self returning. "Now what do you say we kill some stupid sons-of-bitches and raise a little hell?"_

-

Everything had gone cold now. The sun had set hours before, and Sam was so tired that he had no choice but to lie down in the grass, between the graves of Mary Cotton (1891-1943) and Tyler Felding (1932-1991). The stillness had broken with the night, and there were crickets singing somewhere close by. An owl hooted softly in the distance. Sam knew he wouldn't sleep, but he was so tired.

He was so tired...

-

 _"Stop!" Sam yelled, desperation forcing his hand before he'd thought out what his plan was going to be. Right now all he could think was Dean, Dean, Dean, you have to stop him, you have to beat him, you can do it, I know you, I trust you, you're my brother and I know you're strong enough to do this..._

 _Michael looked furious, but Lucifer held up a hand. "Sam," he said, and his genial tone carried only a hint of warning. "Unless the next word out of your mouth is going to be 'yes,' I would really rethink trying to interfere right now if I were you."_

 _Sam inhaled, his breath ragged and his eyes moving wild between Michael and Lucifer. Castiel stood to his right, Bobby right behind them, and Sam looked straight into his brother's eyes._

 _"Dean, I know you can hear me, man--you know that you're stronger than this, I--"_

 _Michael landed a blow on Sam's jaw that sent shocks of pain rippling through his skull. Sam reeled back, but didn't falter. "Dean!" he shouted, and Michael's anger twisted Dean's face into something unrecognizable._

 _"Dean's not here right now, Sam," Michael said, voice as calm as ever. "I'm sorry, but you know it's true. He can no longer hear you--" a sharp elbow to his gut had Sam doubling over in pain, and he could hear his lower ribs cracking, "--so I think you should probably give up now."_

 _Lucifer spoke then, louder than his usual easy-going tone. "Michael! I know that Sam is my true vessel, but I /am/ right here. Maybe we should get this over with instead of bothering with humans who don't really matter anymore?"_

 _Michael dropped Sam to the ground in an ungainly heap. "Very well." He glanced at Castiel. "No interference from you, either. I know how you like to meddle." Castiel acted as though Michael hadn't even spoken, only clenched his fist a little tighter._

 _As Michael turned back to Lucifer, Sam tried to speak, but couldn't manage anything more than a choking cough._

-  
Midway through the next afternoon, Sam's stomach began to growl angrily, no longer content to put up with starvation. Sam knew he should try to find food, rent a motel room somewhere and try to get some actual rest, but he could barely bring himself to sit upright.

And then his cell phone began to ring.

It was the third time in ten minutes his phone had gone off. He didn't bother to check the name or even pull it out of his pocket. But curiosity began to overcome apathy, and Sam let it ring twice more before he finally picked it up.

"Hello?" he rasped, his voice hoarse from disuse after so much shouting. He nearly started to sob when he heard the voice on the other end.

"Sam," Castiel said, "I found him. We're safe."

"Where the he--where are you?" Sam wanted to know. Castiel sighed.

"Australia. It was...difficult enough to pull us both out intact. I wasn't much concerned with our destination, other than making sure we were back on earth. I also seem to have...regained my 'mojo.'" Sam could practically hear the air quotes, and he very nearly chuckled.

"Glad to hear it. And I'm happy you guys are okay. I was pretty worried there."

"As was I," Castiel muttered. "We will be there shortly. Are you still in Lawrence?"

"Yeah, I'm...I'm still at the cemetery. Give me half an hour to find us a motel, and then call me back."

-

 _The moment Michael had fallen back was like seeing a light switch flipped. In that moment, Sam could see nothing but Dean, felt the overwhelmingly familiar knowledge that this was really his brother. They didn't speak, but they didn't have to. Dean held his gaze for what seemed an eternity before looking over to Castiel._

 _Sam clutched the Horsemen's rings tightly enough to leave deep marks in the flesh of his palm. And then he threw them hard, so that they fell close to Dean and Lucifer. The ground shook like it was trying to tear itself apart until a huge, gaping hole began to form by their feet, and then--_

 _Dean glanced back over his shoulder, and he...he seemed determined, like before, but the haunted stare was gone now, replaced by acceptance and a calm that Sam had never seen before. Then he grabbed hold of Lucifer and flung them both down, the earth breaking away where they'd stood not seconds before._

 _"Dean!" Sam yelled, hearing Castiel shout his brother's name at almost the same instant. Castiel didn't hesitate, barely looked back at Sam before he threw himself into the gaping hole after Dean and the two archangels. There was a terrible sound, a shriek that sounded like sheets of rusted metal dragging against each other mixed through with the screams of dying men._

 _And then there was nothing but a deafening silence threatening to split Sam's head in half._

-

Castiel and Dean appeared barely a minute after Sam had given Castiel the address. Dean was out for the count, his arm slung around Castiel's shoulder and his head falling forward. Sam helped Cas get him onto one of the beds, and he didn't miss the way the angel ran his fingers lightly through Dean's hair as he moved away.

"Thank you," Sam said, meaning it with everything he had. "Thank you for bringing him back." He fought back tears, even though he knew that Castiel wouldn't judge him for crying it all out, after everything they'd been through. Castiel's lips twitched, which was practically a grin for him.

"It was never a question, Sam," he said. "I would have done the same for you, also."

Dean stirred slightly, but was still unconscious, his chest rising and falling in a steady rhythm, reassuring them that he was, in fact, alive. Relief broke over Sam like the crashing of a wave, and he did the only thing he could possibly do.

He laughed. It felt like absolution.


End file.
